Prove it!

Global Outreach Week at our church just ended (and began, and progressed) with more yummy food.  I love that about America.  No need to plan ahead: there will be food there.  I think we could have saved our grocery money for the entire week!  But that is not the main reason I am blogging! :)

Being with the Body is always a blessing.  Being with the Body and praying together on Monday night, sharing the Word together, being challenged together, hearing what God is doing in the world is energizing and refreshing.

Seeing our faces on our little board display was not as energizing.  I understand the point, I appreciate the idea and I love looking at the other ones, but I battled in my mind with the difference between recognizing and appreciating all God has going on in this world and self-promotion.  I suppose it truly does come down to the heart of each individual.

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us..." 

There is this temptation in the missionary world anyways to prove yourself.  Otherwise, why are you going around the world in the first place?  Dave and I have always admired our missionary friends who can give themselves to a hard, unaccepting culture for years at a time without many results.  In our own case, or in my case I should say, my battle is more internal: begging God to help me be wise with my time, careful with my time, and not do things out of a fear of man that I would not otherwise do simply to "prove myself" to someone.

We want to be faithful stewards of time and resources, and we want to stay committed to what God says is important.

Recently we have had these discussions with missionary women who are told to "do more, do more!" a never-ending battle cry from leadership and those in authority over them to sacrifice time with children, if need be, "for the lost."

Since when did the rules change?  Since when did God call us to have a different set of priorities simply because we live in a place where the need is great?

 {The older women} are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5

What I love about those verses is not only what is included, but what is NOT included.   

Can we overestimate the value of one life lived in obedience, on those around them?  Whichever way we prioritize, we are discipling someone on how to walk with God. 

 Our goal is to be able to say, "Follow me as I follow Christ."  

Use your time like I use my time.
Love on your kids like I do.
Speak to your husband and children like I am.
Reach out to the poor and needy this way....

Humbling. 

 Impossible.  

Without God's enabling power, absolutely hopeless. 

 With Him, I can do all things.

"...but our sufficiency is from God..." II Cor. 3:5

God, help us make Your priorities ours.  No matter what anyone says.  We trust You that obedience to You will bear more fruit than we could ever muster up in our own methods.  

And now,  my view:

I can still see my feet, on occasion, and only three weeks left!  And while I really can't think of anything better than carrying this little person around, we also can't wait to meet this tiniest Helsby.

His Story

Unashamedly, two of my greatest heroes are my mom and dad.  Especially when I consider their lives and faithfulness.  Everytime I read it I think of them:

Psalm 92:14, "They will still bear fruit in old age; they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright; He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him."

100 bed Hoa Khan Children's Hospital

My mama, she packed two babies on her hips and daddy held the other one, three children two and under, and they boarded a plane for war-torn Vietnam.  Right at the wrong time.  Who wanted to go to Vietnam in 1969? My daddy did, and not without his woman at his side,     to help heal little 

bodies in the name of Christ.  

 

And they stayed for five years, me being born after four and heading back again for one more until God delivered them just in the nick of time.  And my mama, she calls those her "skinny years," the stress of war and uncertainty taking a toll.  And they tell stories of sleeping in their bed with flak jackets on top of us all when the shooting got close, and children coming in with no limbs, the sad product of land mines.  And even though God did get us out three days before Da Nang fell to the North Vietnamese, my daddy still tears up when he talks about those children they had to leave behind in their hospital beds.  My whole life I have heard stories of God's faithfulness and I watched it lived out in my home.  Surely I am a steward of such a past and such a family.

Back to Vietnam after my birth

Headed to Taiwan in 1976

And that doesn't even include the incredible stories of the family I married into, with Dave's grandparents being sustained in a Japanese civilian concentration camp in China while they were

missionaries, his other grandma growing up as a missionary kid in Korea.   And parents who left comfortable small-town Montana to head to the bustling city of Hong Kong.  And all of that to say, we don't go overseas just because that's what our families do, but we have to decide what to do with the abundance that has been poured out on us.  How can we use these small, wispy vapors of lives to the best of our abilities?  How can we pour out what has been poured in, particularly in terms of the people who have discipled us extensively and the examples of Godly Christians that we have been privileged to learn from?

1. Faith of our fathers, we will strive
   To win all nations unto thee;
   And through the truth that comes from God,
   We all shall then be truly free.
2. Faith of our fathers, holy faith!
   We will be true to thee till death.

 

Safety First?

God has been so faithful in the past few months, narrowing down our options beautifully from about eight realistic ones to two right now.  We are excited about both of these and continue to pray that He would finalize the right place for us.  

In the process of applying with a mission, being accepted with them and getting several pages of current openings with Dave's skills and gifts, I have been confronted again with the questions that nagged me before we ever went on the mission field; mainly, "Is it safe?"  

I grew up in a home where probably the most frequent statement we heard was, "You are never safer than when you are in the center of God's will."  This was not just a saying; my parents had lived this out practically in amazing ways (more on that next time!).  This became a part of all of us--we really believed it.  Stepping into a "dangerous" place always brings it back up for me, especially when it is frequently asked by others. 

 "Is where you lived safe?" 

 "Is where you are going safe?" 

 "Is it safe for your kids there?"

 "Is it safe to have a baby there?"

Well, isn't safe relative?  I mean, we would have thought it crazy if someone asked if it was safe for us to go to the Boston Marathon, right?  Who would have guessed what could have happened?  And when we look at "safe" or "unsafe" places in the world, we have to look in light of a sovereign, kind God who has our days numbered and our lives in His hands.  And still, when I hear about an opportunity in Nigeria, pictures like this come to mind:

And I have to question my own philosophy. 

And no, we're not on our way to Nigeria, as far as we know.  But it is a good process to walk through, examining motives and commitment.  

We dealt with this after the robbery at Mavuno as well.  

We cannot look our children in the eyes and tell them that it will never happen again.  We cannot even say that if it happens again that God will keep us all alive; only that He will keep us safe, and safe might mean going home to Him.  And that if we spend our lives trying to save our lives, we will often walk away from what we are called to.

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matt. 10:39

The Potter is up to something grand (as always!)

There were misty eyes around the table for the second time this year; only this time they were from sheer delight and disbelief that something this good could come to our family.   And then there was dancing past bedtimes and “what are we going to name it?!” and “we’re gonna have a baby, we’re gonna have a baby!” as they bounced on beds.   Their one disappointment has been that it isn’t twins.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

All this bursting joy that God, in His sovereign grace and kindness, would bless us with such a gift. We are all in wonder.  As Dave says, #7 is kind of like bungee jumping—terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.  And to the question, “weren’t  you done having kids?” the answer is “Yes, we thought we were done after #4, but God keeps giving us these beautiful bonus babies, truly the reward He says they are. 

Sobering to think who we would have missed out on...!

"Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker-- An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?' Or the thing you are making say, 'He has no hands'? Isaiah 45:9

This little plum-sized person is already filling our home with hope and excitement, and we are eager to see what tremendous plans God has for him (or her, but there are many in this home rooting for a “him”.)

Meggy has already called dibs on the baby, and our greatest “problem” will most likely be trying to get through the crowd of siblings to actually hold our own child.  We are so thankful that God does have very specific things to say about children.  They are not, as the world will so quickly tell us, a burden—they are a blessing and God uses them each day to sand down our sharper edges that still need smoothing, and build our faith in new ways. 

Stepping Heavenward, the diary of a woman from age 16 to the end of her life, has been one of my long-time favorite books.  In the midst of her childbearing years, with another baby on the way, a well-meaning friend says how sad she is to hear that she is having another child…

 “She says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worth all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!”

--Elizabeth Prentiss, Stepping Heavenward

Praising God, from whom all blessings flow!

summer

Water, water everywhere...all of it drinkable!

We went to a water park on our way back from Colorado.  Dave caught me staring into space, "watching" the kids on the slides.   

Thanks for ruining it!" he said with a smile when I told him I was thinking about Mama Eunie, our neighbor in Tanzania, carrying every drop of water on her head for her family.  Here we were, gallons and gallons of clean water coursing through plastic tubes all in the name of fun.  And it was fun!And we didn't have to tell the kids to make sure not to get water in their mouths, like we do in the shower 

back in Africa. 

 

And the water just kept coming and coming, a never ending gush of freshness while I pictured the village girls walking on dusty roads, even the little girls trying not to spill a drop. 

 And such is life while we enjoy being back and try not to forget what we  know is how much of the world lives.  
***

Colorado beckoned to us, after several friends mentioned Missionary Training International's Debrief and Renewal program and our church graciously provided for us to go. 

Our fearless facilitators, George and Connie.  What a blessing they were!

 What could have taken several years to process and unwind from (or maybe it never would have happened?) took place in a week.  What a blessing to be poured into by such kind, compassionate people who minister to missionaries year-round.  The children also had special classes that helped them understand transition, change, culture, and relationships.  Incredible!  And when people ask if it gave us new direction, it didn't.  But what it did was help us understand how to proceed in a God-honoring way; not giving constantly from our reserves, but giving from the overflow of time spent with Christ, in quiet, being renewed. Essential encouragement for every Christian!  

learning about a "pair-a-ducks" (paradox) taught the children about appreciating the good and bad in each culture.

It is an exciting process, investigating new opportunities.  In one sense, we are in a similar spot that we were eight years ago, only our passion is a little more realistic :) and we have the added advantage of a little bit of experience on our side.  

Dave's current work: large machinery and beautiful scenery--what more could he ask for!

 We are eager to see what is on the horizon.  And for now, our challenge is just to learn better how to live wisely here: not to be constantly guilty or discontent, but to enjoy this life with gratitude to God.  Enjoying friends, fellowship, worship in our own language and great teaching in church
and on the ever-so-fast internet
is not hard to get used to!

Every time I think about posting these days, I wonder how on earth to put into words what my heart is feeling.  But you faithful pray-ers out there have been a tremendous blessing as we have tried to sort through this season of life!  

Home #2

As our bodies adjust from 

to this

,

our minds and hearts also try to soak in the reality of such a different life.  

What a blessing to come back to such sweet, gracious friends, incredible teaching

 and yes, the comforts of American life.  

Coming from solar power (no heating elements), we found it rather revolutionary to use a dryer

and a toaster

and we could use them 

at

the

same

time.

The kids were really excited yesterday when they saw an incredible machine on the road while we were driving.

It was the street cleaner.

In Mwanza, they wear a blue apron and hard hat and use a real broom.

 I took Katie into Target the other day and she spotted the toy aisle, staring with wonder, 

"Mommy, I love America."

You can have two homes, you don't have to pick.

Those were the wise words a friend said to me before we left.  

So we enjoy the sweetness of this home, even while we miss the familiarity of the other one.

And we may have officially reached the point in our lives

where we cannot be any one place 

without aching for the other...

while learning to be content

"in all things."

For all of you who have asked us what's next, 

let me clear it all up for you:

we have no idea!

We know we have options, we know our heart is to be in Africa,

but we have no clear direction and have come to the conclusion that there are things we need to learn and ways we need to grow before God does make it clear to us.  

So it is a good season of waiting, resting, and finding our confidence in Him.

Isaiah 30:15&18

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...

...the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. 

For the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him!

Psalm 138:8

The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me;

Your love, O LORD, endures forever--

do not abandon the works of your hands.