Faith puts its flip flops on and gets to work

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take me to get a grip on some spiritual truth.  Walking by faith is just one of those things.  For about two years now, I have been diving again and again into the deep waters of faith which are Hebrews 11 and 12.  It seems like every time I do, I'm challenged in new ways. 

Unrelated, it had seemed, to my study of faith, is my increasing battle with my thoughts about feeling like I have "too much" to do.  How can I be everything to everybody?  How can I do all I should when I feel like the list replenishes itself as soon as I complete something? 

 I'm not used to feeling this way.  I like to have my life under some kind of control (even if, to some of you, it appears to be chaotic....it is my own, controlled, happy chaos!). :)  I am not used to feeling like just throwing in the proverbial towel.  My battle with my thoughts feels so constant. 

"Here's the question: how wholesome, faith-driven, and Christ-centered is the conversation that you have with yourself every day?  Do you remind yourself of your need?  Do you point yourself once again to the beauty and practicality of God's grace?  Do you tell yourself to run toward him in those moments when you feel like running from him?

No one is more influential in your life than you are, because no one talks to you as much as you talk to yourself."

Hanging up the clothes, while gazing into the blue sky, palm trees swishing in the breeze and birds flying effortlessly overhead, I asked God, "Why?  Why does my life feel so chaotic?  I want peace, abundant life.  I feel noisy and muddled in my head.  I want freedom; not freedom from demands, but freedom from striving.  Your yoke is easy and your burden is light.  It doesn't feel light.  Do I need a better system, or is this just how it's going to be?"

And He reminds me that not only is Hebrews 11 not irrelevent to this moment, but in fact Hebrews 11 was made for this moment.  Isn't this what I have wanted and, in fact, prayed for?  A life that cannot be explained by anything other than the fact that Jesus is alive in me?  A life that clings to Him? 

 I don't want a life that can be boiled down to an organized method, as tempting as that sounds.  I have thought many times that my goal for my home was to run it like a "well-oiled machine."  That's a great goal, but most days it just isn't reality.  A well-oiled machine doesn't leave room for people at the door and peace-making opportunities over the dishes and plans that change and mis-communication :) with the man I adore.  Not to mention amoebas and a baby's new sleep habits and interruptions at every level.  The faith of Hebrews 11 gets up, puts its shoes on, grabs several cups of coffee and gets to work, trusting that the GOD who leads will also provide everything that is needed for the journey.  

I loved a sermon I heard on the practicalities of Hebrews 11.  One morning, he reminded us,  Noah actually got up, ate some toast and eggs, and headed out to start cutting down trees.  He is not just some foggy character with a big, white beard.  This man chose to start out one morning by faith and do the craziest thing anyone could imagine.  

James 2:17 "so then, faith, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." 

Oh, Jesus, could it be that this crazy is what a life of faith will feel like the second I take my eyes off of you?  I think so...there are times of peace, even rest in the midst of it all, but only when I have my mind and heart set on you.  When I do set my eyes on you, it doesn't matter what happens, because I know what to preach to myself.  I know You will, in fact, give me more than I can handle so that I can't handle it on my own.  You hear my cry, you come to my rescue.  You want to be my strength, and I can't do this life without you.  

"Nothing without joy," has become my battle cry.  That eliminates a lot of extraneous, and the things that remain demand joy.  I remember when I had three little ones and the baby had spilled cheerios and milk all over the kitchen floor.  I was so tired, and worn out, and I was on my hands and knees cleaning it all up with tears streaming down my face.  Tears!  Over spilled milk!  But by God's grace, it was a dying-to-self moment.  "I'll do what you want me to do, even if it means spending my time cleaning up milk and cereal."  It seems like a waste, so insignificant.  But it isn't wasted, and its significance for growth is determined by my response.  

"You're always preaching some kind of gospel to yourself.  It's a gospel of aloneness and partiality and injustice and a graceless world--or it's the true gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ that orients you in these moments where everything seems like sinking sand."

This was meant to be a post about something else entirely, but it's what is on my heart.  God, help us to live lives of FAITH, with ACTION, for Your glory.

"...that your faith should not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." I Cor. 2:5

All quotes are from Paul Tripp.